I don't know

patleh		7 Dec 2008 22:08 \| Quote
Joined: 05 Dec 2008 United States Licks: 1 Karma: 8	If there weren't stars in the air after a few drinks would you care Without the water in great ocean Would we still need suntan lotion If we never ever existed would it all be simplistic,,, today------------ If the mind was gone would picture be drawn If we never invented a car would we ever have gone far And minus the train station would we ever explore aviation CHORUS:If we never lived would you notice I can finally tell you now that you know this I--------------- once read a long story about a city man called cory he wondered all day and night without answers he grew tight Call me ignorant cuz i cant show all my highs but only my low i don't know and i don't care i'll wonder about anything there. If i can see it i'll ask questions please answer, i'm begging for suggestions Cause I---------------------- don't know If we never found darkness would we sleep and we never sleep would anyone weep if we jumped out a plane would we be free and if we died instantly would anyone see Without discovering all the bad, only good Would we still try to live as we should If nobuddy knew how to read, would anybody write if none leanred how to see, would anyone question sight CHORUS: Suppose you didn't feel her love would ya still hope for a white dove If ya never ever knew what was thirst could ya still see the shineign sunburst If nobody was ever awake would we know what was at stake if she didnt learn of the thing marrige woul she still get pickd up in a carrige stop calling me a big chicken i'm just a bit soul stricken CHORUS: SOLO(TBD) CHORUS:

soy.el.che		8 Dec 2008 11:10 \| Quote
Joined: way back Mexico Lessons: 1 Karma: 9	i like it.. too direct maybe but its ur style. too many ifs. just my opinion

Heather		8 Dec 2008 13:56 \| Quote
Joined: 21 Aug 2008 United Kingdom Licks: 2 Karma: 19	patleh says: stop calling me a big chicken Well, my main feed back is thaty should be found as a COMPLIMENT, actually! But really I think you've come up with a pretty good idea of a song there. What I'm about to say is only due to my own personal taste, so if you like it don't let it hold you back to keep that clear. I'm not too fond of having two lines that ryme come right after each other, I personally like it when different rymes come inbetween each other between lines, but that's just me. Over all I really like the way you've managed to pull it off long while not allowing it to turn dull. I like that, when people are writing songs I notice they're often too scared to make it long in case they ruin it, but this is pretty good. My favourate is the 2nd verse, and I really like the chorus until that chicken insult! But seriously that and the line following I really like.

patleh		8 Dec 2008 14:11 \| Quote
Joined: 05 Dec 2008 United States Licks: 1 Karma: 8	Heather says: Well, my main feed back is thaty should be found as a COMPLIMENT, actually! haha i'll change that for you buddy.