Hmmm..new song, I need helps with a verse please =]

Hur! Well I got bored and rather down over the last week and wrote a song in about 10minutes, looking over it now, minus the spelling errors and little breaks in the rhythem, the only weak bits I'm seeing (and asking for advice on) are:

Third Verse
-
I never noticed you,
How your hair fell around you,
And matched your eyes;

I beg you for forgiveness,
Cause I've thrown it all away,
And I'm left with nothing now;

---

Last Chorus/Outro
-
I'm not very good at finding a grip,
I'm not very good at falling through,
the darkening sky;

I'm only good when I've got you,
To stop this paranoia;

I'm not very good at being with people,
For that I apologise;

girl, ill be honest now
I never really noticed you,
How your hair fell all around
together with your eyes, it was all but untrue

I beg you for forgiveness,
cause for sayin sorry its now too late
u made me realize I threw it all away,
And I'm left with nothing now;


thats the way i would leave it.. hope u like it

Nutter,
ok i'll take a shot at this...........
take what you like (if anything)

I never really noticed you,
how your hair falls on your face
and the color of your eyes;


can’t you please forgive me,
pretend I never fell from grace,
and threw it all away;
---

Last Chorus/Outro
-
I am somehow less without you
Living isn’t life without you
I stumble in the dark;






I'm only strong when I’m with you,
To take away my fear;

I'm not happy on my own,
I’m not that kind of guy;
Phip

O.o both exceptionally good, I want your lyrical geniuses! I'll see what I can get tomorrow, I'm not home tonight to work on it.