Help for the broken-hearted?

I guess this is less of a help thread than it is a vent thread, but whatever. Here it goes.

Me and my girlfriend broke up in early August. Normally, it'd be just a normal break. But, she had a little girl whom I am absolutely in love with. She was only 7 months old when I met her mother, and she was about 13 months when we broke up. I would call my then girlfriend and talk to her little girl just to listen to the jibberish that she would say. I would always say "Hi, baby" and she would respond with "herro".

I had been planning on joining the Army to work with computers so that I could take care of them both (my ex was living with her dad in a trailor and was having some issues with some things). But, she told me one day that she wanted to break up and that she liked some other guy.

I don't know what to do. I mean, I kinda miss my ex, sure - but I miss her little girl even more. She told me once that she would never tell her little girl about me and that she would never know me. I think about her every single day, and it NEVER gets easier. Everyday I'll see something that reminds me of her, or I'll hear her name or something that rhymes with it. It hurts to know that I'll never get to tuck her in at night, and never see her grow up.

My ex is pretty well on her way to being a drunk and drug addict like her parents, but I honestly would have stayed in there solely for her baby.

I don't know what to do. I feel like a part of me has been ripped out. I mean, one day she was there, and the next day she just wasn't. I often think to myself how she will grow up and never even knew I existed.

How do I get over this? Can I?

dude that really blows... I have a baby brother who's about 2 1/2 and his mom(my stepmom) is borderline split personality and severely bi-polar. She has threatened to leave me, my dad, and my little brother(who's 13) and take the little guy and never let us see him grow up basically. She hasn't done it yet, and I hope she never does. The only advice I could give you right now, is try to forget about, or pray for better times man. It's hard to imagine not being in a child's life that you care about but sometimes, that just happens and it sucks. I don't know if you'll ever be able to get over this situation, I know I wouldn't be able to very easily if at all. I'm very sorry to hear you going through this type of situation. I wish you the best in this man.

yea man you can, it will just take time.

Been there......twice!
All I can say is that if you don't put yourself out there and risk it all you will never know real love, and so you did and it went bad for you. Takes time but you will accept that you can't be there for her but you will never forget her. Then one day, who knows, in a checkout line or there is a knock at the door. Happened to me that way. Now my "baby" just had a baby of her own, and she came to see me so that I would know how things have turned out for her. :) I couldn't be there for her but she's doing ok! (maybe that's why). And yet, I'd do it again.
Wear your heart on your sleeve, that way you'll always know where it is!
Meanwhile keep busy, busy, busy. And send birthday and Christmas cards.
Phip

It's okay Evan. You just need to ask yourself, do you love your ex? From the sound of it, you're just a little heartbroken you’ve ended it with her as an individual. That’s alright, many relationships go like that, you end something, miss it and then perhaps you worry a little about whether or not that was the right move. But then all the while somewhere in your head you know it had to happen, and the more time goes on the more you learn to accept it. And at some point find someone you feel right sticking with. Just take your time there, don’t rush or stress with worry about whether you still want to be with her alone or not. Of course, that’s easier said then done, just don’t worry. Just listen to your thoughts each time they happen to come with little or no stress.

If I’m wrong feel free to correct me, but I think the hardest thing for you is letting go of her child. And I mean it when I say that’s perfectly understandable. She’s young, dependant and you worry about her and her mother. You’re scared thinking of letting them go while thinking you could make their lives easier if you were all still together. To help them with any financial problems they are facing, and might have problems with again in the future. You’re only worried and don’t like thinking about what their lives might go like without you there. And you and her little girl have connected with each other and have really bonded over the past months. It’s okay to admit, she has imprinted on you. She see’s you as a face that’s often been there for her in the past. But my advice, if you really start to learn now or later that you don’t love her mother, just move on. She can’t grow up with people supporting her who don’t truly love each other. Her mother needs to stand on her own two feet, later find someone she loves and feels right staying with, and so do you.

So just take your mind off them. Again I know that’s got to be much easier said then done. But do, it’s hard to see even now after early August has come and gone and you’re still worried. But you can get over this. The future never stops bringing good things to us. Don’t be afraid of it.

and dont let anyone tell you that you can never go back to being just friends, thats bullcrap

Man... if your age is still 17, well I may sound rough, but I suggest you just forget her and forget the baby. You have life to live man, when the time goes, Im sure you will see true nature of this world. We are living in a dirty world.

Its sad that you have so strong bonds to that baby and you cant see her anymore, but its just wise, that you let it go. Memories still remains, nobody can take them away from you and when the time goes, sadness and pain fade away and good memories takes place.

Its easy to read between the lines and see that you have a good heart Evan. Its rare at these days. Face the real face of this world and continue your life, Im sure you found better girl with who you spend rest of your life get your own baby.. and believe me... Thats hell of an event.

"How do I get over this" - with time
"Can I?" - For sure.

Have a strenght
Empirism

Emp is right man, pretty soon you'll no longer feel as much hurt about those memories and more happiness about the time that you had together.

Don't cry because it's over.
Smile because it happened. -Dr. Seuss

@BBT: i like that